Worries / Questions and Answers
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May 30, 2017
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Dear Aj,
I’m a working-class lady in her middle thirties. My fiancé of four years is having things difficult even before I met him while my job is not all that paying well. I want us to get married but he keeps insisting that we defer our wedding until he becomes rich. I also want us to get married and face our challenges together even as age is not on my side. Will it be wise of me to accept his stand on our wedding?
My advice here is that you have a one-on-one chat with him to see if that is his only reason for wanting to have your wedding deferred. Moreover, you did not state if he has actually proposed to you. If money is actually the problem stopping your wedding from holding, do your best to assure him that two heads are better than one. Also take your worries to God in prayers for that assurance.
Dear Aj,
I truly love my wife of two years but right now, I believe she has ‘jazzed’ my ‘member’. I said this because – shame to the devil – I know I’m a flirt, though nowadays, I can’t get ‘it’ up when I’m with any other woman, except when I’m with my wife, even while she is clad in her negligee. What should I do please? Should I accost her over this real pain?
Blood of God! Please do not raise it up with her. Tell it to God in serious prayers backed-up with fasting. What if she is not the ‘culprit’? What if it is God at work on your marriage to save you from sti’s and HIV/AIDS? Except you want to come out clean, confess to your wife what a cheat you have been and promise her you will never go back to such life of waywardness again. I must join in praying you out of this mess. It is well!
Dear Aj,
Please I would like to know if it is right for me to go through my husband’s handsets. He caught me doing so on one occasion and told me to stay clear of his ‘privacy’ but I know I can’t stop doing so because I nurse such strong feelings that he is beginning to cheat on me as he always come up with excuses whenever I demand that he fulfill his conjugal obligation by me. I’m not a sex-freak but this unfriendly weather of acute coldness in Lagos makes it imperative that a wife be wrapped-up in her husband’s arms to avoid certain illnesses.
My dear, aside one trying to avoid ‘certain illnesses’ in this harsh cold weather pervading the length and breadth of Nigeria today, every wife should go through her husband’s handsets because the prevalence of AIDS and other opportunistic sexually transmitted illnesses are still on the increase and not receding. Try and make out time to impress it on him that he is yours alone and that infidelity is still enough to ruin your love for him. Marriage calls for openness and make him understand that even as you betray such quality too. But if you are not prepared to carry the burden of broken-heartedness, don’t bother going through his handsets and rather resort to praying him out of his follies.
Note from Aj:
Kindly send your questions on any issue of life that bothers you to issuesoflifewithaj@gmail.com
