Why Divorce Rate Is High In Nigeria Today – Read How to Keep Your Marriage Intact
The topic of high divorce rate in Nigeria is so challenging a research to dabble into as a writer and blog about it so that we all will become fore-armed and guard our marriages jealously.
Believe you me, there are people who are not happy with you for ‘landing’ such a handsome man for husband or marrying such a pretty princess to be the mother of your children. There is nothing they would not do to frustrate you out of your home as a woman. Not that they are ready to come and take your place when you are gone, but they derive joy from ruining your joy. Not that marriage is big deal nowadays, but it is the only reason why the existence of human beings in this world is continuous. These ‘bad-belle’ enemies who disguise themselves as friends will be on the look-out and show you more love than any other person can muster so that you’ll begin to confide in them. Now, know it that no other person should be allowed into your home and marriage except your spouse. You two have each other to confide in and share both your successes and challenges. Once you allow anybody into your marriage, be she you mother or sister. You have already opened the back door to your mortal enemies who have long been envious of you.
Haste To Have That Ring On:
Most times, women dabble into marriage simply because of the annoying thing like their biological clock. They fear that if care is not taken, that their prince-charming and perfect husband material will elude them as always and end up marrying a man that doesn’t fit their psyche-etched picture of a life partner. Instead of patiently searching and waiting for an ideal man, their romance novel-induced picture-perfect husband ends up making them lose precious years they would’ve been married until it becomes almost too late for them to settle down, thereby making them settle down with ‘whatever’ kind of man who is ready to put that ring on them. No man is perfect and same goes for you too. By the time you smell the coffee, it tastes awkward and you find yourself trapped and living with an intimate stranger until the boat capsizes.
Inadequate Preparation For Married Life:
Most mothers have sheathed their responsibilities by their daughters by ‘pursuing’ materialism and not having precious time spent with their daughters to inculcate in them the qualities of a good wife. These girls will stay home after schooling or work and be watching such funny and misleading Soaps on cable television and believing that men have changed with time and can accept to be eating out when they are married. Most men suffer through their bachelorhood days and keep praying they settle down with a wife who would tempt them with different delicacies. During the time you two were dating, you pulled the wool over his eyes and have your mother’s cook prepare foods for him. When this man finds out the type of cheat you are divorce alarm bells would set-off in his brain and nothing settles it except you are willing to learn how to be a good cook or you stand to be kicked out. Eating out at the delis and fast food joints is expensive today and a man, even if he is Dangote, will have this strong need/desire to have a wife who saves him money and protect him from becoming poisoned by his enemies.
No man with his tools complete tolerates this ‘sharing’ of his woman with another man. If your husband is not that good in bed, teach him how best to please you. If his size is rather too big or too small and inadequate to make him ring your bell, the joke is on you. That is why people are being advised today to get into courtship before settling down. You may accuse me of teaching fornication or sex before marriage, but my concern lies with this little matter that is as small as any other thing but has the capacity to flatten your marriage on its nose.
Third Party Involvement:
My darling, listen and read me good. Don’t ever make the mistake of involving anybody (your mother and father inclusive) in your marriage. Except this man wants to use you for ritual purposes and God’s grace refused him from fulfilling his evil desire, and then you have moral right to involve an entire village of yours in your marriage. But what if this man succeeds in using his wife for such mundane and evil purpose? The joke is still on you because you refused to wake up and smell the coffee by investigating this man thoroughly while you were dating to find out if he has certain room that nobody goes into or he keeps late night and involved in things of nocturnal depth and activity. But not if he is a politician, anyway. Involving a third-party in your marriage is a sure sign that you lack respect for your husband. No real man likes being looked-down on. As soon as you make this mistake, ask him for his forgiveness and promise him never to hit the repeat button of third-party involvement in your marriage. Whatever the matter between you and your husband must be settled by only the two of you, after all, only you two walked down the aisle on your wedding day.
Absence Of Shared Hobbies/Interests:
Sharing certain hobbies with your husband makes it easier for you to always be by his side and working hard in making him your best friend. Men love this thing called ‘best friend’ and that is why when a man settles down after sowing his wild oats, it is expected that his wife becomes his best friend. You can end up his best friend only when you two share a lot in common. It brings about adequate communication, sharing of responsibilities and improved friendship. If all you share is relationship as a married couple, the marriage will always collapse like a pack of cards, but when you have the delightful cheerleader like friendship, when your relationship suffers a setback, the core friendship bridge you two share will come to the rescue. Or why do you think people are introduced as bridge-builders? It is all about friendship. Without friendship, your marital relationship will remain wobbly and squeaky.
There are many other factors that point to the high rate of divorce, but these ones are among the seemingly little things that we overlook and live to regret our lives when our marriages collapse irretrievably.
Read Also: https://www.issuesoflifewithaj.com.ng/2017/09/reasons-for-high-divorce-rate-in-nigeria-exposed-2.html
Editor’s Note: Lets get your reaction please.