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Tips For Becoming A Facebook Celebrity! (A Must Read)

Living And Lifestyle

Tips For Becoming A Facebook Celebrity! (A Must Read)

admin December 26, 2017
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No 3 is crazy!
1.       Curse out God for being the reason there is so much maladministration in Nigeria instead of Buhari and fuel pains as everybody’s ish this season.
2.       Worship one of your village gods and endeavour to upload pictures of you worshiping this god. Don’t forget to allude to this god as the reason why you are successful.
3.       Kiss and tell. Don’t tell me you do not know what this means! Ok. I’ll take that load off of you. It means you come online and gosh about how it went down between you and a former crush. How the xxx went down. How you lasted an hour with your bae begging for more and the number of rounds you shared. You tell us all the nasty details of your kiss on Kiss Daniel. Something like that. Yeah!
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4.       You must know the art of being slippery. Nothing must be put to you! You blow hot in the morning, lukewarm in the afternoon and cold at night and when tomorrow comes, deny them all and hit the repeat button. You must double-speak biko!
5.       If anyone insults you, call up your online lap dogs to decimate such an effrontery and don’t forget to throw tantrums and use all sorts of verbal missiles the e-diot for daring you on your own Facebook. You must be terminally vulgar too.
6.       Call out names of your helpers and praise them to the low grounds where your major god sits as your new gods.
7.       Also call out names of those who have refused to help you and abuse them some more. Emotional blackmail works magic!
8.       Adopt a mundane fashion sense and insist it is your fetish. Such fashion statement must be maintained within the ambit of outlandishness.
9.       Do not forget to be a name-dropper. “I just came out a six-hour meeting with the Minister of Lies in his office. The ministry needed me for something that will affect the youth of this country in positive ways.” Nonsense!
10.   Take photographs with top of the Society’ movers and shakers. It intimidates your so-called Haters to love to hate you the more and this way, you exploit them the more.
11.   Always blast your ephemeral haters to hell and back. That way, people envy your tacky sense of success.
12.   Keep no secrets about your family and manufacture more to even-up with whoever your competition is. Gosh about your mother the most, we always buy craps woven round mothers.
Don’t ever forget to upload your naked pictures to showoff your contours and biceps.
Add yours! Merry Christmas!
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