We Were Not Permitted To Be Free With Our Parents (Strictly For The 1970’s Born)
If you were born in the seventies after the war, you are among the people who suffered the misfortune of being raised by parents who remained tongue-tied to the extent that they frowned on virtually everything their children brought to their notice after they have gone through such psychological trauma. You would have to dwell on this particular issue harassing the life out of you to the point that all your manner of approach wouldn’t appear worthy before your all-knowing parents.
I have come to accept the verdict that a people coming out of colossal losses of human and material wealth as a result of the 1967-70 Nigerian/Biafra civil war that didn’t favour them wouldn’t be expected to be all that euphoric with and around their children. That is the crux of this matter.
The love was there from our parents for us but how to express it to make us feel free with our parents was lacking. It was a tragedy! So many of us especially the girls suffered first-hand the brunt of this reproach – unwanted pregnancies became their lot. So many of them lost their lives while trying to hide this blot and shame from their emotionally non-expressive parents whose reactions to such blot to a family name is better imagined than experienced. Sex education did us in because it was such anathema of a topic to broach with any of our parents.
And what about the boys! They ended up not using protection while sowing their wild oats and as a result, so many of them picked up treatable sexually transmitted diseases that ruined their reproductive system because they opted to rather die than have their fathers have such misgiving hang round about their necks as a reminder of their foolery. Like the fathers didn’t sow greater wild oats in their own time. But because there was so much bitterness in the hearts of a people who suffered through hatred from their brothers, who can blame our parents?
The lines of pains that etched deep into their faces reminded us all of a road that is impenetrable. The facial expression was impregnable for us. When we make mistakes, we would have no one to go to to help us out except for our ignorant selves; hence we continued to be losers in this lack of platform for freedom that we expected from our parents. Some of us fared better, but the majority remained in the miry claydom of our ignorance on how to make out parents reach out to us and save us from our timidity.
But eventually, when the lot of our parents improved in the 80’s, a significant change birthed. Our younger ones had better fortune with our parents. Love started flowing from our parents to all in the family. But what about the time lost on languishing on our defeat of no-victor-no-vanquished?
It has been God for us all this while and this is in appreciation of God who in His infinite mercies saw us through the years of our suffrage in the wilderness of poor parenting skills. We are now blessed and we have our own children who are as verbally expressive as we wished in our own time for ourselves.
I thank God for all His benefits!