Man Tears: How Often Should A Man Cry?
|every occasion demands a particular display of emotion|
This is definitely a tough one on me, but when I remembered what is said about man tears in the Bible, I felt a relief.
Yes the Bible came to my rescue as it is recorded in Romans 12: 15-16 which says;
“Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep. Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits.”
From the Bible, I set out with a questioner and went after some of my friends on this particular issue a young man had brought to me. The first friend I asked said bluntly that every man deserves to shed tears once in a while even if he lacks the necessary emotions. When I asked him for a single reason that ever made him cry as a man, he posited that it was the time he suffered neglect in the hands of his sweetheart. He cried for a whole week. Jesus Lord!
I searched through my mind and realized that I do shed tears from time to time especially when the pressure of living in a country like Nigeria gets to me knowing that it is by the sheer magnitude of God’s grace that one whose bread is not being buttered by this present government is capable of sleeping at night as a result of hunger pangs and many other issues that bedevil us in Nigeria. I cried when I lost my mom. Any remembrance of her brings me to tears. I hardly attend burials because they are poor reminders of my huge loss. But what can one do! Attend some I usually do.
On the other hand, the society frowns upon a man crying. They see it as a sissy stuff for a man to be caught up crying publicly no matter what. Someone sang that he does his crying in the rain. One needs to be that smart if one is living in a homophobic society where your life is at stake when you fly your sexuality in peoples’ faces. Real men don’t cry! This is what some of us grew up with. A man should be stoic and learn how to bottle up his emotions and suffer gladly in silence.
No wonder men die young in this part of the world!
Another respondent asked me that it makes him shy to cry even in private. Jesus Christ! He insisted that perhaps he has problem with his tear ducts as he has never remembered seeing himself crying even as a student in the secondary school after being heavily caned over one gross case of indiscipline.
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Well, each to their own drive. But from the biblical point of view, we as men are admonished to betray some emotion when such a particular emotion is all that is needed at that material point in time.
Someone told me he cried when he suffered through a week of ear pains. ENT stuff! Surprisingly, he cries over deaths but was too shocked to cry over his mother’s death. He confessed that the shock was too much for him to accept such homecoming for a mother like no other.
Whatever be the case, cry it out dude! Being an adult is not an easy responsibility. It takes the pressure of life and living off you. Give it a try today and thank me later.