That Annoying Thing About Having A Crush On Someone And How To Quench Such Fire
Oh my gosh! What is life without fantasizing about making out with this star and that beauty? I had quite a memoir-full of crushes that I’m yet to even sight from a distance from boyhood.
How do I end up sitting down on same seat and chatting away with Vivica A. Fox and getting to hug her and peck her here and there and kiss her full-blown whenever I feel like it just like all those lucky dudes enjoying such favours and pleasantries with her in the numerous movies she has featured in?
That is why I find it sickening picking up any more crushes. I retired from picking up randomly from the lovely people on my neighbourhood(s) – I do move around and change abodes, you know – five years ago. During my university days, I fell in love with Whitney Houston and see where that has gotten me! I feel so miserable that for all her beauty and talent, she ended up with a bad boy who taught her bad ways and stuff that quickened her departure from this sphere. I don’t want to die young biko!
What’s that? You run into a fine piece of humanity and you start ‘dying’ on the inside instead of letting your mouth help you out. If it were to descend on someone you dislike now, you’ll vituperatively waste words on the poor fellow. Now, be more creative and find means to get closer to your crush, you begin to search for reasons why the cobwebs in your relationship are more important than sweeping them off your eyes.
Except for a crush you share a lot in common, don’t even encourage yourself to be blighted into believing that you’ll end up dining under same roof with Michelle Obama – that lady though, thank God she is with another – and expect such a dream to materialize except you have the means to back up your relationship impulses. Not that you will end up convincing Michelle to forsake Obama for your wounded arms of love anyway.
This thing about having a crush on a person of sexual preoccupation is that you always have unspent sexual energy for your crush. Whenever you have these sexual pressures mounting on your back and your nuts are heavy and you needed a release, all you do is work hard to sight this crush of yours and dash back into your family bathroom and quickly get some help from your right hand and the tablet of fifi-smelling soap. You always feel completely satisfied whenever you fantasized and achieve this wanton relief. But when you look at your chances of achieving the peak of your drive which are getting slimmer by the day, you will realize you have a long walk to success. That is how boring this preoccupation can be. But of course, if you are a boy or a girl, you may keep the hope alive until something gives.
Girls are usually more successful than boys in having their wishes for this crush come to fruition. Why? They have what most of us desire and when your mind is set on such a goal and she makes the first move on you, then you are a true son of your father, Adam.
How did I achieve supremacy over having crushes while I move up the ladder in life? I still love Genevieve Nnaji though, but I’m already married. What stops a man from wasting the life of his nuts desiring this actress? Anything?
Well, I simply work hard to make this person a friend first. In this age of social media, I find ways of achieving that and empting my emotions into this crush’ inbox. As soon as I’m done, the cure gets to me like an aphrodisiac and my preoccupation leaves me fast like those symptoms of malaria parasite. I’ve outgrown those days of senselessly beating my meat and pissing my balls through my pee-hole and slit. I have succeeded in simply reducing my obsession to admiration and tells my mind – whom I rule – not to destroy my love life whenever sexual urge wants to turn my head that I have a new crush on my scene. This way, I have been able to finally met with some of my crushes and find out that they are humans with sexual needs and sexual pressures wanting to screw them sideways.
That’s why you see them acting all pious and clean simply because they are in the public eye and wouldn’t want to ruin their career(s). Tell that to Chris Brown and Rihanna! Well, they are of different environment and orientation. This here is Nigeria!