3 Major Life Issues To Consider While Raising Your Teenage Children
“Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counselors they are established.” Proverbs 15:22
Every parent dreads the time his/her children will replicate their time when they were teenagers.
Most of the time, it is the stage in the lives of these teens that determine the health condition of the parents from their age 60 and above when these teens must have turned adults in their early twenties.
All heady and almost all-knowing, they wouldn’t want you to correct them anymore as they seem fed up with the constant nagging and spewing corrections coming forth from their parents who are not yet convinced that these teenagers under their wings have acquired enough knowledge and wisdom to launch out into the bigger society while university education and leaving home looms.
That is why every parent is encouraged to not be weak where they are expected to be firm while leaning on the strength of God to muster up courage to administer adequate punishment to their fast-growing children – when they err – before they hit the first phase of adulthood which is this teenage age from 13 to 19.
Children are like growing yam tendril and need the guidance of their parents to turn out responsible in life at every stage of their lives.
In digression, living with a teenager nephew of mine inspired this write-up. Parents should endeavour to be firm while raising their children to avoid such stories that touch the heart and end up squeezing life out of them.
These teenagers are as incorrigible as they’d dare to be, but when they realize that you are not having any of their shenanigans, they would pipe down low. They will straighten out and begin to live by the rules you run your ship on.
And to make those rules worth adhering to, you will inculcate the following in these teenagers:
- You will have to teach them the beauty of freedom to enable them not end up abusing it by becoming reckless with the freedom they enjoy. Therefore, when they come short of this privilege you have defined for them as found in freedom, you will read them the punishment(s) as a measure of disciplining them. This means they must be made to understand that there are consequences for their actions and inactions. When these checks and balances are not found in the lives of these young adults while growing up, you’ll find out someday that you will hurt very badly when you find yourself at the end of their evidences of what you left out teaching them about FREEDOM. Of course, you do not have to be rigid with your teenage children. Being friendly about and with these rules makes it easier on you as handling them is borne out of tough love. When they are hurting, you are equally hurting. That is why you will need to put your foot down when handling them so that you will save yourself from major hurt that lurks in the near future the time you are supposed to be enjoying your retirement from serious parenting.
- The second life’s issue that you must inculcate in your teenage children is to fear God and respect all. Proverbs 9:10 is clear on this. As parents, from their early stage in life, we must teach our children to develop a reverential fear of God without which they cannot be divinely imbued with true wisdom which comes only from understanding who God is and that He is holy, just, and righteous.
Also, when the respect your children have is for you the parents alone, you have failed as a parent. Without pushing it, by teaching your children what FREEDOM means, you will utilize that medium to teach them how respect is the only virtue that when they give it out to others irrespective of age, race and background, that it remains a reciprocity that moves in circle of life.
- “Without a sense of responsibility, no human is different from a wild animal” Ajulu Okeke.
It is the responsibility of you as a parent to teach this and if need be, force it – sense of responsibility – into your children. This you’ll do by living by sterling example to your children especially the teenage ones who at this stage will begin to stand against most of the things you stand for just to prove they have come of age. This occurs only when you have neglected the first rule of parenting which states that you live by example. They will begin to mock you and your frustrations will begin to rise when you live not an exemplary life devoid of hypocrisy. It is here that you teach them to begin to acquire every sense of responsibility to not end up dependent on people on most things they need in life to function optimally. I’m talking self-reliance here. My mother at the time she was having over five helps living with us still taught me how to prepare most of the meals I’m so good at today.
It is for their good, teach them these and you have taught them all they needed in life.